Why hiding is no longer serving you if you want to play big – a lesson from Tara Mohr
A few weeks ago, I shared with my tribe the upside of expanding your comfort zone.
This level of expansion can only occur when we get out of hiding and start playing big.
Would you be surprised if I said it takes…
Only one step.
At a time.
Right now I’m relishing the downtime after hosting workshops which took over 20 women through a subject dear to my heart – The Art of Self Care. Although I would love to dive into this subject unfortunately, that’s not why we are here. We are here because these workshops taught me 3 valuable lessons.
Hiding is something I’m sure we all do at times when it comes to certain areas of our lives. It may be in your career, your relationships or your health – and these are the obvious ones. If you are anything like me, you’ve probably mastered this great act, more that once in your time.
I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable, but if your heart desires something bigger that what you got on your plate right now, then let’s talk about it.
Someone who perfectly understands this concept is Tara Mohr. Tara reveals in her book Playing Big that hiding is one of the ways we intelligent, successful women stay in our heads for fear that our egos and our sensitive hearts will be crushed with embarrassment the moment we put ourselves out into the (lime)light.
Got an idea that scares the pants off you right now? and you’re stalling on it?
Chances are, you’ve done a bit of this already…(these are my personal favourites from the book)
>> This before that – what Tara refers to as choosing not to act because you need all your ducks lined up in a row. ‘But’ is probably a common word in your vocabulary. And really it’s all just stories. I’m not advocating that you go out and be a Doctor without the degree, but there’s certainly a number of ways you can play in a space before knowing if it’s something you want to pursue. That’s where the concept of leaping (that we spoke about last time) is vital to breaking ‘this before that’ mode
>> Endless polishing or overcomplicating – I’m pretty sure I used to wear perfectionism like a coat of armour for most of my life. This armour we can wear with pride but at a cost as it too often prevents us from getting our work out into the world.
>> Omitting your own story – this is all about letting go of the masks that no longer serve us. Only then are we able to speak freely of our own ideas, questions and concepts, through our lived experiences, gifts and imperfections. If you know of the work of Brene Brown, in particular her brilliant book Daring Greatly, then you’ll really get how that layer of vulnerability and authenticity has the power to impact lives.
“this is how our work finds its spark and gains the power not just to inform minds but also to change hearts” – Tara Mohr
Wondering what I learn’t after leaping head first into these workshops:
one: not one but 4 workshops truly gave me the confidence to speak in public.
two: I discovered why I want to serve, support and guide women in this world. I’m not sure I would have come to that realisation from speaking to one person.
three: I know I want to do more workshops and I know how I want to do them.
This proves that real human to human connection serves as one of our biggest opportunities for discovering our why and our how.
Breaking it down, it looks a little something like this…
1. Create space for awareness (to see that you are hiding)
2. Have an open heart and mind (ready to share with your audience and then listen fully)
3. Experiment (taking a real leap, you might win here, or not)
4. Pause to gather your learnings
ALL this = growth + expansion
Trust me, you can get this depth through likes, shares or comments online.
So sister, are you ready to step out from behind that mask you’ve been hiding behind?