A note on subtraction and building in the bliss

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A remember a time not that long ago, that the word self-care was not even part of my vocabulary.

This is what I thought was living – first class honours degree, a job in one of Sydney’s best Architecture firms, living by the ocean, training for half marathons, the list goes on. Truth be told this wasn’t really living. Life looked really convincingly good on paper but it all came at a price. Namely my health for a start, 6 years of university, a burnt out alcohol fuelled liver, hormones all over the place, poor skin, commuting 3 hours a day and allergies that wore me down day after day.

My determination to ‘get well’ finally got the better of me. I took some big leaps in the direction what made me feel healthy and I took control of my journey:

I owned the image of my future self – and she was a colourful, well, luminous being

Leaping wasn’t easy (on relationships, finances, friendships), it was testing and sometimes you have to make a u-turn and start again. When I committed to daily, weekly and monthly habits, I saw big changes.

Tuning into my bliss became a process of devoting more of my day to self-care. Not self-ish. But self-care.

I’m by no means perfect, especially when coffee and chocolate are in the equation. But what I didn’t know 10 years ago, was that in moderation these things can be ok. It’s through self-care – an intimacy with the mind and body, that has taught me to listen, cut back or stop when things start getting dodgy.

So what is all this talk about self care really about? You know I’m not the only believer out there…

In this modern world, we continually run from silence, we constantly feel the need to be surrounded by people and always find a way to be distracted by social media. These things alleviate the need to be present, to spend time looking inward, or having a simple moment of reflection. We think that having it all, doing it all, means we’ve ‘made it’.

Does this sound like you beautiful?

The core of what balance really means was even clearer when I heard a little quote from Tami Simon, at the 2015 Women Leading Change conference:

the spiritual journey is about subtraction

It hurts to hear that. But I see many women in my life in a constant battle for balance. They are amazing, beautiful, passionate women but they suffer anxiety, health problems, they aren’t ‘tuned in’ to what they need to flourish. I hate to break it to you, but balance doesn’t really exist, however, we swing in the addiction to addition direction more than ever.

Why should we build in bliss time? 

We have every right to feel good, just like the next person.

We can only empower others when we know how to love ourselves

Sean Corn, Women Leading Change Conference 2015.

Hot tip: Bliss time doesn’t need to cost the earth, take oodles of time or be difficult. The times when I experience the most bliss are often small actions that cost nothing. Like putting my feet in the ocean, standing arms open in the sunshine or taking a hot bath. I would also recommend that some of your bliss time is spent outdoors, which could be as simple as laying on the grass in the sunshine.

When we allow ourselves bliss moments in our day we not only experience peace and calm during that time, you also created more space for flow to occur and…

  • Increased levels of clarity, especially when it comes to knowing what lights you up!
  • Strengthens your sense of self-love and also love for others
  • Patience
  • A more calm and steady mind
  • A go-to fix for when you feel stuck
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Ruby Marsh

Ruby Marsh

Ruby Marsh is a mentor and the creator of The Unstoppable Woman transformation program. She believes that when a woman is confident in her own skin, she is free to create herself on her own terms. Through her 1:1 work with women and workshops she is supports women to clear their minds and open their hearts.

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